Into the Woods
by Storybookgirl77
Summary: Fear is a funny thing. Why exactly is Gerry terrified of going into the woods? Why is a childhood incident still upsetting him and why has he never told his closest friends? Can Sandra help? Adult themes - possibly verging on an M. Set post "Millicent" episode with the original team. Sherry all the way!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own New Tricks. BBC television and Wall to Wall own all. No copyright infringement intended nor should be inferred.

Into the Woods

Sandra sat staring at the paperwork on her desk glad that Millicent - Faye she corrected herself had been given back to her family. The case had been complicated from the start as the professor had provided them with the means of identifying the young woman but the man guilty of causing her death was dead. What was still bugging her was Gerry's reactions to going to the woods. Sighing she looked out over the office. Brian was pulling his coat on as Jack waved his goodbyes. One person was missing. Smiling sadly she had an idea where he was.

Xxxxxxx

Gerry stared at the bottom of his pint glass. He had no intention of going back to work until Monday. The Millicent case was closed. Another family had an explanation - closure he thought the Americans would call it. Huffing, whatever it was he knew Faye's parents could finally rest knowing that their daughter was at peace.

"Gerry."

"Guv." He didn't move as she sat at the bar next to him. The barman approached as Gerry made a show of staring at his drink.

"Orange juice please."

"Orange juice?"

"I'm driving." She explained. The barman returned with the glass of juice as Gerry finally looked up. "Yesterday. In the woods. What happened?"

"Nuffin."

"Nothing? Really?"

"Nah. I told you it was nothing." Gerry drank the last of his pint ignoring the group of young men laughing and joking in the corner of the pub. He felt sick. It wasn't like him to show weakness and he knew Brian and Jack would be dining out on it for a while.

"You said it was a phobia." Gerry closed his eyes. "Since you were a child."

"Look, Sandra." He turned to her. "I made myself look a right plank. No need to keep going on about it." He huffed. Sandra rested a hand on his arm as he huffed.

"No you didn't. Everyone is scared of something. It's natural." She smiled slightly. "Spiders, heights, water, anything really."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Sandra smiled slightly.

"Difference to getting the heeby-jeebies about something and having a proper phobia. My old mum was scared of snakes. Daft really, not like she was gonna find one in Epping!" He shook his head remembering the elderly woman he adored.

"Phobias don't have to be rational. It is what it is." She sipped her orange juice.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So what is Sandra Pullman afraid of? What's your phobia?" Sandra immediately snapped her head towards him.

"This isn't about me, Gerry."

"Nah. It never is."

"Tell you what. You tell me what happened when you were a boy to make you so scared of forests and I'll tell you what frightens me most." She watched him raise an eyebrow.

"You'll think I'm an idiot."

"Nothing new there then."

"You're not giving up on this."

"No, we needed you at the crime scene today. Gerry an event that happened when you were what? 9? Is affecting your work. It can't go on." Gerry ran his hand over his face.

"Ok, ok. Just don't laugh."

"Why would I laugh?"

"And don't think I'm making it up because I'm not. I was ten. Ten year olds don't make stuff like this up." His voice broke slightly as he spoke. Sandra stared at him.

"Why would I think that?" Her voice softened. "Gerry?"

"Because my dad did. I was nine years old an me old man laughed and said I ad a screw loose. Never mentioned it again. Never told anyone else. Never saw the point if e didn't believe me."

"Gerry. You can talk to me. I'll believe you." She watched the fear in his eyes dissipate a little. "I promise not to laugh or anything like that." He sighed.

"I was nine. It was the school holidays." He paused. "Sandra, you don't need to hear this."

"No but you need to say it." She grabbed her handbag. "Come back to mine. We can talk there." He nodded before following her out of the bar.

Xxxxxx

A/n one more chapter. Please review


	2. Chapter 2

A/n none of my stories are designed to upset. This is a strong T bordering on M but please skip if upset as it mentions what happened to Gerry as a little boy.

Confessions

The rise from the pub to Sandra's house had been in near silence. He knew she meant well and she was right. He was a grown man he should be able to face his fears head on and deal with them. Now as he sat on her sofa with a mug of tea in his hand he didn't know if he could.

"Gerry."

"I left the car at work."

"Good! The amount of alcohol you had. It's better off in the police car park rather than the pub."

He nodded. He knew his car was safe. He knew he was buying time.

"Ow am I going to get home?"

"Taxi. Or you can kip in my spare room. I'll take you home in the morning. So? You need to get something off your chest?" He nodded.

"Like I said back in the pub I was only a kid. I was a week off my tenth birthday. Obsessed with playing in the woods. Loved playing Cowboys and Indians. Watched the High Chaparral every Saturday on the telly." He smiled at the memory. "Innocent little lad. Like Gerry junior." Sandra smiled.

"I should hope so. I know I was, at that age."

"When you were ten I was already a copper."

"There's twelve years between us. Stop changing the subject." She smiled. Gerry ran his hand over his face, the memory of almost fifty years earlier hitting him hard. He nodded as Sandra took his hand. "Gerry?"

"I was out playing with me mates. Only Lee had to go back, his gran was coming or something. I can't really remember. Anyway I got separated from the other boys."

Sandra felt her heart break slightly. Gerry stared at the mug in his hand. She'd heard countless stories like this before. She'd never wanted to think too closely about them and she'd never associate them with her friend,

"Gerry."

"I was just a kid. Scrawny one at that." He shook his head. Sandra felt her eyes fill with tears. "He knew I was on me own. That the other lads had gone and I was on me own. Couldn't fight him off. Bloody tried though. I promise you that."

She squeezed his hand, tears now running down her cheek unchecked. Gerry sighed. "He was an adult. I was a kid. Didn't have a chance really. Anyway I just sat there afterwards, got my senses together and ran home."

"You told?"

"My dad. Up until then I adored my dad." Sandra nodded. "He looked at me for a moment. Just looked then burst out laughing. Said I ad a fanciful imagination." He closed his eyes. "Walloped me for lying and said I'd better not repeat it."

"Oh Gerry."

"So I didn't. Never went back to the woods, never watched the High Chaparral again. Never told a soul."

"Not any of your exes?"

"No." He shook his head. "In nearly fifty years you are the only one I've told. God, Sandra. You believe me?"

"Of course I do." She sniffed. Gerry smiled sadly. She watched him nod.

"Monster killed himself three months later. I saw it on the news. Did some digging to check when I became a copper. Apparently two other families had believed their boys. Police had him on bail when he topped himself. In the woods." Gerry wiped his eyes. Sandra took the mug from his hands.

"You were only a kid. None of this. None of this is anything to do with you. Don't do this. Don't let him win." Gerry looked at her as she stood.

"Could murder a cuppa."

"Me too." She walked away before stopping. Her heart broke for the little boy Gerry had been. Suddenly it all made sense, the womanising, gambling, estrangement from his birth family and the way he was so overprotective of his girls and the team. She turned back, approaching him she rested a hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok." She sniffed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in her blouse she held him as he cried, trying not to let her own tears fall. "Stay tonight." She felt him nod against her abdomen as she hugged him tightly.

Xxxxxxx

A/n

One more chapter to go. Sorry if this offended anyone. Please review


	3. Chapter 3

Release

Sandra stared at the ceiling as she thought about what Gerry had told her. She knew she had pushed him to tell her but she knew he couldn't keep it bottled up forever. She pulled the duvet around her as she thought of the overprotective, heavy smoking, hard drinking, loving, mischievous man in the room next door. She hadn't really wanted him to join UCOS in the beginning but now she couldn't imagine not seeing him everyday. Closing her eyes she decided to at least try to sleep.

Xxxxxxxx

 _He looked around the trees. Lee and Joey had gone. He shook his head, not believing both his mates had run off. Sighing heavily he knew playing Cowboys and Indians was no fun on his own. Kicking the soft ground beneath his feet. The he saw him. The fat man. Swallowing hard Gerry knew he wasn't to talk to strangers. His mum had always told him not to. He stepped back as the man towered over him, the trees suddenly more menacing as he turned before trying to run. A hand covered his mouth as an arm pinned him to the floor_.

"Gerry?" He felt a hand on his arm. "It's ok, you were dreaming." His eyes snapped open to see Sandra sat on the edge of the bed. He was breathing heavily, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Sorry." Gerry wiped at his eyes. Sandra watched him for a moment. "

"Nothing to apologise for." Sandra smiled slightly, her hand resting on his arm. "We all have nightmares. It's natural after everything."

"Didn't mean to wake you." He watched as she looked away. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She bit her lip, thinking for a moment. "Budge up."

"What?"

"You heard. Move." Gerry did as he was told before raising an eyebrow. "I'll stay until you go to sleep."

"I'm not a kid, Sandra. If this was just about getting me into bed wiv yer."

"Shut up." She huffed as she lay on top of the duvet. "This is about you getting some rest and me not jumping out of a warm bed when I hear you getting upset. Ok?"

"Ok." Sandra smiled slightly. "You'll be cold."

"I've got central heating. Just close your eyes and try to sleep."

"And what you gonna do? Chase the bogeyman away?" He watched as she turned on her side to face him.

"Isn't that what we always do? Together? Now do as your told and go to sleep."

"Yes Guv." He chuckled to himself. "And Brian and Jack?"

"Bed's too small for them too. Besides Esther may have something to say about it!" Sandra teased. "No, I won't say a word." She yawned as he finally closed his eyes.

Xxxxxxxx

Gerry didn't want to wake up. The sunshine through the bedroom curtains hit him on his face forcing him to open his eyes and squint. It was then he remembered he wasn't in his own bed. He frowned slightly as he realised the blonde he had wrapped in his arms wasn't one of his conquests either. It shocked him slightly, knowing he had told her about the worst thing that had ever happened to him and she hadn't run or judged him.

"Hi." Sandra yawned as she opened her eye. "You ok?"

"Yeah." Sandra wiped her eyes as he nodded. "Yeah I am actually. You?"

"Yeah."

"We going to be ok? Work and stuff I mean?"

"Yeah. Course. You get to cook breakfast." She got out of bed before walking away, leaving Gerry to wonder if he and Sandra would ever be the same again.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

A/N please review. Back to gemstone now.


	4. Chapter 4

Fear itself

Gerry walked into the kitchen, fastening his shirt buttons as he did. Sandra had already showered and dressed while he had been in bed. She had to admit her friend had a slightly less haunted look than he had the night before.

"Have a cuppa and then I'll drive you to your place so you can change. We turn up to work together with you in yesterday's clothes and the rumour mill will be on overdrive. You know what Cara on the desk is like."

"Yeah." He smiled slightly. "Before you know it, alf the Nick will know we spent the night together." He sat at the kitchen table holding a mug of scalding hot tea.

"We did."

"Yeah. But not ow she'd say it."

"True. That's the second time we've spent the night under the same roof and you've not tried anything." Sandra watched him blush. "I'm losing my touch."

"Sandra."

"I'm joking. Drink your tea." She raised an eyebrow.

"Last night."

"Yeah?"

"At the pub. You said if I told why I was such a bleeding wus at the woods."

"You were not a wuss."

"That you'd tell me what your phobia is." He watched as the colour drained from her face. Suddenly he felt guilty. He could see whatever it was it was a big deal. She bit her lip for a moment. Gerry looked away, surprised when her hand touched his.

"A deal is a deal. This goes no further. Right." She held his gaze.

"Scouts honour."

"You weren't in the scouts."

"Cubs count?"

"Ok." Sandra took a deep breath. "It only started after my Dad died. Well, that's when I first remember it."

"Sandra, you don't have to do this." Gerry squeezed her hand. "Just because I spilled my guts to you doesn't mean you have to."

"No, it's ok."

"Really."

"I was fourteen and the one person I relied on was gone." Sandra stated at the desk. "Dead. It was then that it started. I vowed I would never ever rely on anyone again. No one would get close."

"Love. That's your fear? Your biggest phobia?" Gerry watched, suddenly realising that the fear was genuine. Things started making sense, she'd never had kids, never wanted to get close to anyone. As far as he knew there'd never been a serious relationship in her adult life.

"No." Sandra closed her eyes. "It's stupid. I told you."

"Not anymore stupid than mine." He held her hand, rubbing circles on her palms. Sandra swallowed hard.

"My phobia is being left, abandoned. People seeing me for the spoiled, self opinionated, spiteful bitch I am and running as fast as they can in the opposite direction." The words fell out of her mouth in a jumble as Gerry touched her chin, tilting it to look at her.

"Phobias. Bloody horrible things. Seems our parents have a lot to answer for. I've seen the way your mum is with you." Gerry brushed a tear away from her cheek as she tried to avoid his gaze. "You are none of those things. You say bossy, bitchy or whatever. I say confident, determined and bloody amazing." He kissed her gently. Sandra pulled back, holding his gaze for a moment.

"Gerry."

"You said my father was wrong." Gerry watched as she nodded. "Well whoever it was that made you feel unworthy of being in loved and loved back was wrong." He watched as she blinked.

"Is that right?"

"Yes." Gerry stated firmly. "That's right."

"If you say so." Sandra sighed, clearly not believing him.

"If I can face my fears, tell you the worst thing I've ever ad to deal with then I reckon you can start letting the walls down a bit. Let people see the Sandra I see."

Sandra frowned. She had no idea what he was talking about. Gerry squeezed her hand once again.

"Cmon, drive me to mine. I'll get changed and buy you a proper breakfast." Gerry got to his feet. "Cmon, at this rate Jack and Brian will be sending out a search party."

Sandra smiled before getting to her feet and following him out of the room.

Xxxxxxxx

A/N that's all folks


End file.
